Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
