You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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