Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
