This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Randomize
