I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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