Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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