I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
