just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
