kristin has been a bad kristin
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
