Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Someone came in the potted fern
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
