I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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