You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
