Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
