A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Do vagina's smell?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize