If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
