Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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