im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
