Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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