i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
