Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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