new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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