If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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