Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
he had hair everywhere except his balls
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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