your parents love me but you hate me
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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