i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
