Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
