..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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