I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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