Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize