i was born a porn star she said
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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