I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
