Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
