who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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