i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
