if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize