yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
