the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
