yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
