I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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