FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
