Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
