I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
