3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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