Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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