real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
