If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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