I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
