You just made me feel so damn special
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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