my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
