After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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