I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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