Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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