he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
