what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
