I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
