these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
