We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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