that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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