You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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