Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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