My liver just broke up with me...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
