Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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