first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
