seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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