oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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