That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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