I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
