What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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