Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well I just put wine in my tea
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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